It’s raining, which is nice. The plum looks very pretty against the grey sky when viewed through the garden gate. I suppose it will lose some blossoms, but I’m sure the possibility of rain must have been factored in. You know, into the design of the plum.
They’re blooming all over town. Most are pink, and smaller than ours, but actually I like that ours is enormous and white, like a cloud.
I could so easily have stayed home today. As it was, I did slip a number of errands in. N missed 2nd period to finish up the first three pages of her mystery story. It’s quite good, I think. It seems to be about a murder in a retirement community, and the sleuths are a gardener and the girl he loves/plays backgammon with. But after I dropped her off, I picked up her jacket (with zipper repaired) and dropped off her new glasses (new prescription) before I went to work. The afternoon was consumed with a meeting, which was actually fairly interesting, but then I slipped out before 5 to drop off the disks at the computer repair place, to try and figure out some number we were supposed to have been given when we bought N’s computer, and to look at new frames for my glasses. I think I found a pair I like at the place on campus, so now I have to get my prescription and bring it up there.
Fascinating, I know.
These glasses places, though — you think you find one you like, but then you go back the next years and the people are weird and they want to give you ugly glasses. Hmph. Or they accuse you of looking like a librarian.
I am a librarian!
Anyway, now I am home.
The house is so very clean downstairs now that I can hardly stand it. I’m luxuriating in it.
In contrast, K’s and my room seems to have become an envelope repository. I’m going to have to try to do something about that, but it’s not going to be easy. (If left to his own devices, I think K would eventually fill our entire house with scraps of no doubt useful paper.) It does make me not want to go up there, though.
Poor M collapsed last night. She was tired, and she had to study for a latin test, and it turned out that she’s completely mortified about diving (she was trying on a new bathing suit, too — always difficult), but also about latin, because she got a C on her final, and other people got A’s, and I think it’s actually really horrifying and embarrassing, too. The latin teacher, although much beloved, is not completely without fault, here. She doesn’t let them keep their tests (which would be really helpful to them) because she doesn’t want to have to make them up year after year. And she’s put together these workbooks which are great, but which have no index or dictionary, so if you’ve forgotten a word you’re out of luck (unless you have real dictionary), and there’s no list of constructions, which you need to be able to identify. M has actually made her own index to one of them. Anyway, she’s figured out a way of teaching that works well for her, and for some kids, but is I think a little harder than needs be for other kids.
Anyway, we solved the diving crisis, ordered some new bathing suits which may work, and read over the stories that M needed to know for her test. It turned out that she actually was able to translate them, and that she did know a lot of constructions and she liked that I kept calling them confections. So she felt better.
I guess I’m feeling a little reflective because of M’s birthday, and because N is finally moving into her room just before she moves out, and because it looks like a dorm room. But I remember when N was studying these same stories, and how I was a little bit angry at her for not working harder (when she was probably working at least a little bit hard). It’s actually nice the way she’s taking control of all her stuff. She does her homework, and she’s getting her life and her room and her work organized. She’s figured out what she cares about, and how to skate around what she doesn’t care so much about. She’s a lot easier around us — she was joking with K this weekend, which has not happened for a long time. And seeing her like this makes me realize that it won’t be long before M is like this, too, and even M is so much more grown up than she used to be. I was able to convince her that there are probably bathing suits in the world that will fit her.
It’s reassuring to no longer be completely responsible for my kids. When they’re growing up, you worry so much about not ruining them, and about providing them with all the stuff they’ll need to go out into the world and make successes of themselves, and by that I mean live a life that will be meaningful and fulfilling and happy. It is such a relief to no longer be the one responsible for that. I’ve moved into an advisory role, and N (and soon M, I imagine) is taking charge of things herself.
It hasn’t happened yet, and I’m sure there will be disasters and I will need to step in and yell at people, or rather offer my considered opinion, a few more times. But I can imagine a time when it’s not really my business any more, and I think what I’ll mostly be is relieved.