I’m a bit out of sorts, but a few conversations this morning have convinced me that everyone is out of sorts. I don’t know why that should make me feel better, but it does.
I’ve started reading The Woman in White and I’m enjoying it so much I would like to go back home right now, crawl into bed and continue reading. I’ll bring it with me and take it out in my canoe.
I am a little worried about this vacation. If you in any way regard me as a sane person, it no doubt has something to do with the fact that I live about 3,000 miles away from my family. I do love them, and I even like most of them, but dealing with them en masse in cramped quarters is going to be a bit much. I am going to have to figure out a strategy for coping: stay away from Middle Brother will be part of it. Bringing lots to read will be another. Having a car will be another. Okay, feeling better.
The meeting on Saturday with the Large Urban Public School (LUPS) people — ay. Part of it is that my experience with LUPS has been so frustrating and terrible that I don’t have much patience. I don’t assume they’ll be able to do anything right. I do assume that if there’s anything stupid and destructive that they can do, they’ll jump on it as quickly as they become aware of the possibility. I realize that this sour attitude gets me nowhere, but I am just counting the minutes until I no longer have anything to do with them. So probably I should just resign from the board of this committee and hand it over to some more enthusiastic person who actually thinks there is a possibility of a good outcome. Actually, I think our committee does have good outcomes, because what we do is, free of officialdom, hand out grants of money to people who request it. But now we have a board member who wants to get us all entangled in the district and their doings, which I just don’t see as a good idea. When a math teacher wants a document camera, I don’t think we want to spend months arguing with the district about which kind to buy and how many to get. I think we just want to buy him the camera. It’s also partly based on personality — I find this person annoying. She blathers on and on and on, dropping name after name after name. She’s sort of lacking in the social skills department. Some of her ideas are good. But it’s also that she’s new, and she tends to discount the experience of anyone who’s been around for a while. She just assumes that we don’t know what the hell we’re doing, when what we’re doing is actually based on some experience with the way things work at LUPS. It’s great that she knows about the district, but it would help if she could see what other people are talking about too, which she can’t. Plus, she has a sort of reedy, grating voice. Plus, she has not experienced the destructive incompetence that runs rampant at the school. Plus, it is very hard for one parent to know everything, which I don’t think she sees yet. Kids are very different (and teachers are different), and require different things from the school, and there’s no particular thing that’s everyone’s fix.
Oh, and also there were a whole host of new parents going on and on about their children. I am just so over it — I don’t want to hear about where the friends of the daughter of some woman I’ve never met are going to school. I mean, I might, if there was something particularly interesting about her, or her daughter, or her friends. I think it’s me — I’m done. My kids are pretty much grown up. It’s like when I finally lost interest in hearing about the sleep problems of babies — I know what it’s like to have a baby who won’t sleep. I know how I dealt with it, and I’m just not interested any more in hearing or talking about it. I guess I’m more interested now in hearing about how kids like their colleges, or what they’ve done with their degrees, or really, what people are doing now that their kids have left home. That’s what really interests me.
And I would hand over my position, except that I think for M’s last year it’s important for me to have one last year of connection to the school — my position on this group keeps me informed about the nefarious doings of the school, and the college couselors, which may be helpful to me and to M. If I hear, for instance, that the new college counselor is a moron, I’ll be ready to take action when transcripts don’t get mailed out. (Actually, I heard that she’s good –which is also important, I’m relieved.) So that’s why I’m selfishly hanging on. Plus, I’m the secretary, which is kind of an awful job, so I don’t think I’m actually depriving anyone of a great opportunity.
So there you have it: my vacation is not so much a vacation as a descent into the snakepit of familial relations; I’m pretty ready to be released from any relationship with LUPS; the immediate future is looking kind of miserable, which is very sad because summer is my season, but fall should be better.
That’s all for now —