Thinking

I’ve read elsewhere that it is often the case with bloggers and Facebook users that we edit and present what we are comfortable with and end up denying or not revealing much of what really makes us tick.

From Jane Brocket. Probably true.

In any case — feeling in a tender spot regarding children. probably having to do with all this planning, plus having M home.

At some point (probably when they’re about 6 months old, to be honest) it’s their life, and you’ve got to just let them live it. It’s hard, though. It’s hard not to say, “I already made that stupid mistake, and here is how I think YOU should go about avoiding it.

It is hard not to be frustrated, though, but I don’t think that actually helps anything.

Anyway — now I’ve said too much.

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8 thoughts on “Thinking

  1. I think Jane is right. At the moment, I am eating a mostly raw, vegan diet (mostly to get my hormones organized and become migraine-free) and have lost a dozen pounds. I study and practice strange (to most people) forms of alternative healing. I continue to explore what it means to be a heathen married to a clergy person (while leading the singing at weekly contemplative services!). And I am struggling with a whole messy stew of emotions related to helping my aging, ailing parents.

    I probably won’t reveal a single one of those things at my blog, because I don’t want to alienate, hurt or offend anyone. Or open myself to too much ridicule! But it’s a pity, because my posts would be a lot more interesting. Ah, well.

    Sending you hugs during this tender spot…

  2. My children are young enough that I can say those things to them but I know that one day I won’t be able to unless asked for my opinion. It’s a melancholy thought.

    There are many aspects of my life I don’t reveal on my blog. We’ve discussed one of them before via email. Basically, those things are not the world’s business and would be unfair to others to splatter my discontent onto the internets. I think we do well to hold back in most cases.

  3. I write about everything. But you need to know where to look.

    I think that blogs can be many things including promotional tools, scrapbooks and personal journals and they can change between these vague groups. The critical thing is that the writer understands what they are publishing and why they are doing it. The most uncomfortable mixture is a promotional tool which tries to be a personal journal. Readers love the personal information but it is very difficult to be confident about revealing all if you are trying to promote a positive image for sales purposes. I think that this is the dilemma that Jane Brocket has.

    I cannot offer advice about parenting. My children seem to come up with much more interesting problems than I ever had in my sheltered early adult life.

    M will be fine. Trust me.

  4. Having teenagers is frustrating, and I don’t write about it much, except obliquely, because so much of it is not my story. As you say, they’ve got to live their lives. But yeah, it’s hard, and it sounds like it gets even harder as they get older. I’m watching you to see how it’s done!

  5. There are definitely things I don’t write about, usually because I don’t want to impinge on someone else’s privacy or because that person reads the blog. I used to write a lot about AJ, but I do so less and less as he gets older as he becomes less and less attached to my life and more and more in a life of his own. I’m not quite at the point you are at with your children, but we are starting to hit a point where AJ needs to make more of his own mistakes or nothing changes. It’s very hard, but probably less so when he’s nine than it will be when he’s out in cars with friends making poor decisions. I’m not looking forward to that, but it doesn’t seem that there’s anything I can do about it other than be here.

  6. So right, and sort of sad, about it being their lives staring, probably, at six months. I way overstep with John, I know, but he seems to benefit from me framing his choices (not making them, just talking him through a bit). I can’t yet bear to think of it being otherwise. Would I have ever done this if I knew how difficult it would be? Would I have had five or six more if I knew how sweet? In any event, it’s not for wimps. Like Jeanne, I’m watching you to see how it’s done. Thanks for leading the way!

  7. On a parenting web forum I used to go on there was a running joke about how we all could be hairy-handed male truckers pretending to be mothers, and how no-one could ever really be sure.

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