The pumpkins all look sad this year.
I’m quite sure it has to do with my state of mind.
I can’t decide what to do from here — we went hiking near Healdsburg this weekend. Healdsburg is a lovely little town about an hour north. Right in wine country. Nice town around a square. Vineyards. Shopping. K was ready to think about retiring right there. I was almost ready to myself.
If I don’t make a move soon, or at least make a plan, I will be stuck here. Would that really be so bad? K likes it here. I have friends and connections here. It is beautiful. I mean, really, if it’s snow and four seasons I want, we could retire up in the foothills. (Although frankly the trees are all wrong.) Would that be so terrible? Am I just being contrary? Am I just holding on to this feeling that I don’t belong here and the feeling itself is what makes me not belong here?
I don’t know — but we’re going east again for thanksgiving, so I can test my feelings then.