Winter

I love these pictures so so much, and I love that they could send them to me as text messages. In many ways the modern world is a very good thing. They are off on an adventure and yet, very easily, they can send me a picture.

I’m having a bit of a conflict in my head at the moment. N, a notoriously poor correspondent, says it’s because she likes to enjoy being where she is, not thinking of people who aren’t there. And I sympathize, thinking of times when I have felt harassed by demands from people when I am on an adventure, but I also do not sympathize when I am the person (as in this case) who is at home wondering what the adventurers are up to. So I felt guilty when I asked them to send me a picture, but happy when they seemed happy to send five.

I can’t really resolve this conflict, and I think the fact that it’s concerning me at all at the moment is a result of having the girls home for Christmas and having them go away again mixed in with thoughts about what N will do next year and where she will do it and worries about where they will both be until the end of time —

I think it’s probably just best to step away from the worry altogether and trust that things will work out — N will graduate and do something interesting and then M will too and life will be good.

There. Feeling better already. (Well, not really, but trying to, anyway.)

Partly it may be that I’m on the wrong asthma medicine and I can’t really breathe, which makes a person anxious. The right one is waiting at the pharmacy and I will go get it soon. Partly it’s that this vacation really did feel outside of time, which is a very good thing indeed, but which makes it a little hard to pick up the traces of normal life.

I think it will be good to take down the tree tomorrow and get the house back to normal. We have houseguests coming, and then we’re off to Pittsburgh for the long weekend and by the time all that is over we’ll be halfway to February and it will be time to make garden plans. !!

All right — time to try to get something done here —

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4 thoughts on “Winter

  1. Long vacations are like that – you get to leave your real life and enter an alternate (and better) reality. Sigh. I do miss it. I’m glad you’re getting photos sent from your girls’ adventures!

  2. Ah, motherhood. It’s kind of a stinker, isn’t it. While also being the best thing ever.

    And I used to have asthma and so feel your pain. Hope that gets sorted quickly and you’re back to breathing.

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